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Hearts United, Inc. * PO Box 6947 * Katy, TX 77491 * 832-217-4440 * k.hartfiel@yahoo.com

 

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  • Katie Hartfiel

Parenting In The Age of Porn


“You might say, my kid isn’t looking at porn, and that’s fine. But porn is looking for your child. What are you going to do to protect her?”

-Matt Fradd, Covenant Eyes

In the words of my favorite parenting role-model, St. Don Bosco, we should “make it easy for our kids to be good and hard for them to be bad.” How powerful these words when we consider that we live in a culture that places access to information on all things sexual in the hands of kids who still need reminders to brush their teeth. As parents we are challenged to not only teach our children to be heroic in their manners, behavior, academics and extracurricular activities, but also in their moral decision making. As the last generation who will remember life without the internet, we have a grave responsibility to teach our children the benefits of the unplugged life.

Here is the reality of what our kids are up against:

  • In 2006, the pornography industry revenues were larger than the total combined revenues of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, Netflix, and EarthLink. This is considering that 90% of pornography is free.

  • Of 8- to 16-year-olds, 90% have viewed porn online. Probably not because they went out looking for it, but because they stumbled upon it or were shown porn by a friend.

  • More than 1.5 billion pornographic peer-to-peer downloads occur each month.

  • 90% of these boys viewed at least one porn image AND video by the time they were 14. 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to Internet porn before they are 18 years old. That same study shows that 83% percent of boys and 57% of girls have seen group sex on the Internet.

  • 4 out of 10 teens are posting sexually suggestive messages

  • Porn is consumed on college campuses more than beer.

  • Female porn addiction is on the rise as pornography producers are specifically targeting this audience. Women now comprise at least 30% of online pornography viewers and 1 in 5 women say they struggle with porn viewing on a regular basis

In this world where internet activity abounds, we have to be active warriors in the battle for our children’s souls. The party who wins the war isn’t the one who fights in the fashion that is the most convenient. Rather, the victor is he who combats the most radically and with the most passion. The porn industry does not care about your child; they see him as a dollar sign. If you don’t fight for them, who will?

Step one when it comes to this battle is to safeguard your children’s access to porn- by making it easy to be good and hard to be bad. With urgency, I implore you to use both a solid filtering and accountability software on all of your devices. Here is the difference:

  • Filtering: Internet filters crawl throughout the web identifying sites that have inappropriate content and block them from your family’s devices.

  • Accountability: Should anyone on your account find themselves on a site that they shouldn’t be on, it shows up in an e-mail report that is sent to you.

The best option is a software and app that does both- and does so for all of your devices. I personally, highly recommend immediately visiting Covenant Eyes to allow them to help you protect your family. For a flat monthly rate, Covenant Eyes will give you access to a report of the websites, search phrases and videos your kids indulge in. The filter itself can be tailored and personalized for different ages or needs for each member of the family. One of my favorite features is that is can even block all internet usage for certain times of the day.

Then comes the next step: the conversation. How do we as parents approach this topic before and/or after our kids have been exposed? Our friends at Covenant Eyes also provide you with several phenomenal e-books that will give you the tools you need to engage in your battle.

Many parents worry that talking to their kids about porn will only increase their curiosity on the topic. However, when we give our kids the antibodies to know how to respond to porn when they encounter it, their moral immune system will be able to engage. Without these mechanisms in place, we gamble with our kids’ ability to respond in the moment. Just as we role play, and remind our small children over and over not to talk to strangers, we must unveil to our children the dangers of porn. Your Brain On Porn gives five ways that the brain is warped by pornography. This information that is vastly lacking in our world today.

I have been promoting Covenant Eyes for years, but was recently enrolled in their affiliate program, giving those I minister to an extra incentive to sign up for these services. When you visit Covenanteyes.com through any of the links listed in this post you will receive one month free! Try it out today with no risk and discover what this service can do for you and your family.

Overall, we know that we can do everything right as parents, yet our children still have free will. They still get to be the ones to decide which road to take at every stage of their lives. It is here that our hearts relate to God the Father, who watches you and I stand at the crossroads of our morality each and every day. It helps us to understand the vulnerability with which He loves us. While internet filtering and accountability, paired with many conversations and rules may be powerful- nothing can compare to the power of prayer. Hit your knees and beg the Father to unite His love to yours. God hears the cries of a mother and father. Will you let Him guide you, as you guide your own?

#Pornography #Parenting #Internet #Purity #Chastity

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